


Eustass Kid x Suicidal!Reader x X Drake

by crapitskizaru



Category: One Piece
Genre: General Angst, Other, Suicide mentions, Upsetting themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 02:44:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17972966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crapitskizaru/pseuds/crapitskizaru
Summary: [kinda guilty to send in request when I see all those supportive messages from others(and i hella appreciate you too!!)but could you write something angsty with fluffy ending for me?(For Kid or Dino)where their S/O is getting colder everyday until they break down and admit they regret not killing themselves in the past, because they are not able to do it now? Trigger was stress/bad memories/ idk… I just feel kinda down. ]





	Eustass Kid x Suicidal!Reader x X Drake

**Eustass Kid**

The phone rang. They didn’t even need to check who the caller was, they already knew. A sudden lump started building up in their throat as the ringtone echoed in the room, now colder and less familiar than ever before. 

Just as they were about to burst, their palm flew to their mouth to muffle the pained moan that seemed to erupt from the bottom of a soul when they sobbed. Choking on the silent tears, eyes squeezed shut and hands gripping the edge of their organized desk tightly, tighter than necessary, indulging in the shock that was running through their body. 

Suddenly, the ringtone died down. A few more breaths, a few more reassuring thoughts, a few more tissues, and they were ready to make themselves seem fine again. Even though the well-known coldness writhing around their chest, gripping their heart and completely taking over it, like a poison does to clear waters, didn’t fade away just yet, it was too easy to act like it did. 

But when it hit them again, how distant, how unattentive the world was to their sorrows and agony, they almost let go once more.  _Almost_ , because at that exact moment light footsteps became audible from behind the door as the man walked up the stairs towards their room. 

They always thought his footsteps would be heavier, somewhat louder, making a random observer call the fact that they weren’t like this in the slightest at least bizarre. It took slow ounces of time to notice, heavenly hours spent in the man’s closest environment, most intimate spheres, long, lingering gazes sent his way to finally be able to realize just  _what_ subtle thing became the main one binding them together.

It was the way he moved, the way he completed every task that shifted him closer to the goal, the way he planned a bloodshed and made it clear he does it to eliminate the threat to people he cares about, the way his eyes gleamed whenever the smallest piece of information didn’t fit into his interpretation of the enemy’s plans, the way he always stood in the front line during battle, the way he held them in his arms, it was so refined, so firm, so  _noble_ , and at the same time, the most human and down-to-earth trait of his. 

A person who combines such features should never be exposed to even the smallest possibility of being brought down by someone else’s pain. Wiping the innocent wetness off their cheeks, they calmly sat down by the desk and reached for their phone, as if that was the only thing they’ve been focusing on just now. 

A quick flinch that they weren’t able to hide shook their body as the door opened, either his huge frame or mere presence immediately filling the room with, what it felt like, a tiniest gleam of hope. 

He stared at them for a while, silent. And he saw what he’s always seen in them - the dumb persistence with which they tightened their lips together, clenched fists that were supposed to make them feel stronger, the far too obvious quiver of their chin. But what annoyed him the most was the anger in their eyes, always fiery and fueled by desperation. He could never see past that anger, not even during the times when they’ve let their guard down around him. The most annoying trait on the planet, or maybe the most courageous one; he wasn’t sure yet. 

Their eyes followed his movements as the man started taking the rings off of his fingers, one by one, placing them on a nightstand. He was getting ready for shower, one that just a few weeks ago he’d drag them into, in a flurry of hungry, devouring kisses and shameless touches. One that they’d both spend too much time on, exchanging promises and making love. They never thought to call it any other way, even though it was way too fierce and way too wild to be considered a regular definition of love, but it  _was_  love.

Now it was getting increasingly harder to determine which one of them was more exhausted by the pain that creeped its way into their hearts. And which one of them will be the first to address it, to call it out, to acknowledge that there  _is_ an enemy out there, someone who cannot be defeated by a simple weapon or held back with a set of steel armour. 

With all those thoughts in mind, they stared at his agonizingly slow movements. The silence was unbearable, even worse than the shapeless enemy, and they already knew they won’t be able to pretend anymore. 

He stopped as soon as the first sob emerged from their throat. And then another one, and another, until they were breaking down again, arms thrown around their own frame in attempt to make themselves feel less lonely. 

“Please,” they stuttered out, bending in half, as if they’ve just received a punch in the gut. “Please, I can’t do this anymore.” 

After he stared at them once more with his usual, firm gaze, the man crouched down in front of them and raised an eyebrow, still without a word. 

“I’m so, so tired of this.” They considered his face expression as a welcoming one, so the words kept going. “I love you, I love you so much, and to see you like this- I’m just holding you back. If you hadn’t met me-” 

The courtesy of a blurry vision, they managed to feel rather than see his hands, now squeezing their thighs. It was painful, he was doing it on purpose. And thank God for that.

“If I hadn’t met you, then what?” he asked, his words never as quiet as in that moment. 

“You’d be a stronger man. Far too strong for any enemy out there, anyone who dares to confront you.” Their words faded now, more of a tired choke than an actual sound, but they didn’t care. “Because you deserve to have the entire world at its knees.” 

It was hard to breathe, even without trying to talk out loud, so they pressed their forehead against his, mouth falling open like a fish pulled out of water, in order to catch more air. The enemy seemed to be sucking the oxygen straight out of their lungs, and they’ve never felt more powerless, more useless, more like a  _burden_.

“And I- If only I weren’t here- You would have achieved so much more, I wish I weren’t- I’m so sorry.” 

“You’re sorry for being alive?” he whispered against their lips, hands clamping down on their thighs even more mercilessly than before. “That’s the most cowardly thing to say.” 

His judgement was far more terrifying than the enemy, and they felt it in their bones, in their whole being. He just kept his grip tight, not moving away for even an inch. 

“But you’re not a coward.” 

Nothing more than a whimper left their lips as the constant pounding inside their head started getting intense, scattering the train of thoughts. “How do you know that? Maybe I am. I am. I’m scared now.” 

Their lungs were as tightly clenched as the man’s hands on their legs, they just couldn’t catch a breath. Back when the enemy wasn’t as impudent as it was now, Kid used to hold them in his arms until they were too worn out to cry, or too tired for their breath to be uneven for so long.

But for the first time, he did something else. His lips pressed narrowly against theirs, so if any air made it into their system before, now it wasn’t possible. The thought of suffocating became the only one in their mind, filling it completely until it was only a matter of time before they pass out. 

As much as they wanted to continue feeling his warmth, their body pulled away on its own, finally able to inhale. His gaze didn’t change in the slightest when he whispered again, this time with more passion. 

“I wouldn’t love a coward.” 

They panted in heavy breaths, eyes desperately seeking something in his own, maybe a hint of a lie, maybe a trace of proof, but if it existed, it remained hidden behind a wall of constant, sheer anger that soon became the only feature of the man’s personality that people noticed. But he was more, so much more than that. 

“And a person who truly, genuinely doesn’t want to live-” His hands finally released their thighs, only to move a bit higher up their waist, holding them just as he used to. “-wouldn’t have pulled back.” 

“I guess I’m too scared even for that.” 

A glint of sadness flickered in those brown eyes before he pushed them forward, so that they fell into his arms. He didn’t respond anymore, just kept his steel grip on their waist as their breathing became slow and controlled, and soon enough, they were falling asleep in his embrace. 

**The Ultimate Dino**

He looked at them and saw his own self from the past. He held them in his arms and felt the same shivering way a person’s body coped with a panic attack as his own, in the past, when he had no one by his side. He talked to them and heard the same words that left his mouth, in the past, when there was no one to answer him. 

“Don’t say that. It’s easier to believe when you say it. So don’t,” he murmured, pressing his warm hand against the small of their back. Their curled-up body clinged to his chest, as if wanting to take some of his heat and use it to light up their soul. It made him think of a stray kitten, lost and lonely in the big world, just as he was, and maybe still is, deep inside. 

“You can get through this, with or without my help.” It took him by surprise that he had to hold back his own tears now. No one told him that in the past. So who was he to say that to anyone else? “Every person can, sometimes they just don’t know. Or they’re too scared to acknowledge it, my dear.” 

They weakly climbed up on his lap to loop their arms around his neck, ragged breaths soon teasing the skin below his ear. He instinctively tightened his grip around them, to the point where he was afraid it’s going to hurt. 

In the past, no one’s arms were there to hold him, no one’s warmth was there to bring comfort. The man noticed their sobs turned into soft whimpers now, the hot tears seeping through the collar of his shirt. 

“I wish I could have–Could have done that, you know. And I wish that- I was brave enough to do it, back then.” 

At that exact moment, for the first time in his life Drake thanked God for surviving through his own torture. After all these years, it made just a little bit more sense than before - his sorrows, his pain, his misery;  _now_  he could be there for them, he was able to feel exactly what they felt.

He pulled back, merely an inch, and their body immediately scooped closer, as if afraid he’s going to leave. 

“I was so-  _so_ close to it back then.” 

“Hey,” the man whispered, guiding their chin so that they faced him. Not waiting any longer, he indulged in the feeling of their lips closing around one another. He loved kissing them, adored every second of the affection. In the past, there was no one to show him such affection, no one to provide him the basic human contact, just  _any_ closeness that every person needs to remain sane. 

“Thank God we can’t change the past,” he said, kissing them again. 


End file.
